Layy's Journal: Chronicles of Self-Discovery – Being Alone And ACTUALLY Enjoying It!

 I never understood why people constantly need someone in their face 24/7. My social battery drains instantly when I’m around others. As a 23-year-old, I’ve become so content with myself that I genuinely don’t mind being alone. But, of course, SOME people don’t get it. They assume I’m depressed or that something is wrong with me. No, y’all are just that annoying. For example, I’ll go to my aunt’s house and be ready to leave that night. Don’t try to convince me to stay longer than two days because it’s not happening. And if you’re thinking about popping up at my place uninvited? Don’t. I will not open the door. If you want to come over, you better ask first, and I’ll let you know if I feel like it.

             Birthdays? For Me, Not You.

I’ve never been big on birthday celebrations with other people. In fact, when I do end up celebrating with a group, it’s usually because they planned it for me, not because I wanted it. My birthday is about me. Why would I spend the day catering to others’ schedules, moods, or ideas of fun? I’d rather take myself on a trip, eat what I want, do what I want, and not have to entertain a single soul.

Usually, as my birthday gets close, people start hitting me up like:

“Alana, what are WE doing for your birthday?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, why not? We gotta celebrate it!”

First of all, I’m not doing anything because I haven’t even figured out how I want to celebrate yet. Second, why do people invite themselves to my solo plans? Even outside of my birthday, this happens way too often. Just because I mention what I’m doing this weekend doesn’t mean, “Oh, and you can come too.” If I wanted you to come, I would’ve said that. Some of my best birthdays have been just me, baking my own cake, and doing something random. No stress, no expectations, and most importantly,no one else’s opinions on how I should celebrate.

           Solo Travel Just Hits Different

I’ve been taking small solo trips since before I was a flight attendant, but that job gave me even more freedom (and destinations) to explore. You know what doesn’t feel like freedom? Planning a trip with other people. Coordinating schedules, dealing with indecisiveness, waiting on folks to figure out flights, lodging, and activities...it’s exhausting. I don’t have the patience to wait 10 business weekends
for someone to finally decide they’re free. If I want to go somewhere, I just go.

And honestly, this isn’t just about traveling. Hanging out with people in general can be just as annoying. Simple plans turn into group chats full of  "IDK, what do you wanna do?" or "Let’s just meet up another time." Nah. I don’t have the energy for all that. If I want to go to a museum, a movie, or just try a new restaurant, I’d rather get up, get dressed, and go
instead of waiting for people to finally make up their minds. Even when I do go out with people, they rarely match my vibe. Some folks think "going out" only means getting drunk or smoking, and while I like to party here and there, that’s not the only thing I enjoy. I like museums, amusement parks, and random activities that tap into my childhood joy, things most people never want to do because they think they’re "too grown" for it. That’s why I have the most fun when I’m by myself. No compromises, no waiting, no dealing with other people’s boring routines.

Moving Far Away? Best Decision Ever.

When I was a flight attendant, I had the opportunity to live closer to family and childhood friends. Did I take it? Hell no. I moved to Arizona instead, and it was the best experience I’ve ever had. A lot of people who claim they like to be alone don’t actually mean it, but me? I’m different. I am my own friend and my own entertainment. 

Moving far away gave me the chance to surround myself with a fresh perspective and fresh faces...people I barely interact with, if at all. I’m no longer in the mix of the same old faces and the same conversations. Being in a new state means I can focus on myself without the pressure of constantly dealing with people who think they know me. It’s a chance to live life on my terms, without anyone influencing my choices or expectations.

                At the End of the Day…

I don’t just “tolerate” being alone, I thrive in it. I enjoy my peace, my space, and my freedom. I don’t need to constantly be surrounded by people to feel fulfilled, and I don’t apologize for that. If more people actually learned to love their own company, they’d realize how freeing it really is. But until then, they’ll just keep wondering why I’m so happy being by myself. And honestly? I’ll let them keep wondering.